Kotlc React to everything
by SophitzShipper
Summary: KOTLC characters react to KotLC books and ships, as well as human recipes!


KOTLC REACT

Fitz: *picks up book* what is this?

Dex: I'm on the cover!

Sophie: What is it?

Fitz: It's about you. Can I read it?

Sophie: Wait, is it from my perspective –

Fitz: WHAAAAAAT?! I mean I know we settled this thing a while ago but THE WAY YOU TALK ABOUT ME IS ADORABLE!

Keefe: What? WHAT DOES SHE SAY?

Fitz: *reading aloud* …and by far the cutest boy she'd ever seen – so why was he talking to her?

Everyone but Sophie: *bends over laughing*

Fitz: This is plain amazing. I mean, Sophie told me she liked me, but I don't think I really grasped what she meant till I read this book.

Sophie: Okay can we stop talking about this?

Fitz: Nope. Does your heart really flutter like that when you see me?

Sophie: *face looks like a tomato*

Fitz: That's a yes! I _love_ how your favorite color is my eye color…

Keefe: Ahhh, so he figured it out.

Sophie: NEXT BOOK PLEASE!

Fitz: It's a series!

Sophie: *groans*

Fitz: *reads entire book. Later…*

Fitz: Sophie, I'm… well, seeing things from your perspective really changes things.

Sophie: Is it the crush thing again?

Fitz: I continue to enjoy that. But no. It's… how I was like, such a jerk to you before you healed dad's mind. I like, I said I was sorry afterwards, but knowing how you really felt makes me feel really bad.

Sophie: Okay now…

Biana: OMG OMG OMG OMG

Sophie: What

Biana: OMG so humans have this thing called social media –

Sophie: I know…

Biana: PEOPLE HAVE SHIPS WITH USSSSSS!

Sophie: Uh-oh.

Biana: My faaaaaaavorite is Sophitz.

Sophie and Fitz: here we go…

Biana: There's also a Sokeefe and a Sodex and a… OKAY WHAT IDIOT SHIPS SOPHAM?

Sophie: Okay that never even crossed my mind.

Keefe: And I did?

Dex: And I did?

Sophie: Actually, Fitz did and that's IT. Now please…

Biana: These are… me…

Keefe: *grabs human device* Okay! Tiana… HAHAHAHA! YES! Deana… okay, is it bad that I really disagree?

Dex: Um.

Keefe: Next is… oh…

Dex: *takes it* Keana!

Sophie: OMG YES! That's perfect.

Biana: Um…

Keefe: …Wow, I'm speechless! Some people actually think Foster isn't my perfect match!

Fitz: I'M her perfect match.

Sophie: Fitz, I gotta tell you something…

Dex: WHATEVER! I just found something I can tease KEEFE about and not the other way around!

Keefe: What, do you seriously…

Biana: Is it okay with you?

Keefe: SERIOUSLY you like me BACK? Wait did I just…

Sophie: You guys are perfect!

Dex: Oh and here's Linh's ships. Oh, Wylinh's a thing.

Linh: I barely even know him. What the heck?

Dex: People ship… okay. That's a bad ship name.

Everyone else: WHAT IS?

Dex: Kenh is. And it's a bad ship too.

Linh: Ewww I don't like Keefe! I mean as anything more than a friend.

Biana: Besides, as of two minutes ago, he's TAKEN. Next!

Dex: And… wow. Flinh might be worse than Kenh.

Fitz: WHAT THE HECK?

Sophie: Not happening.

Fitz: Nope.

Sophie: He's taken. Next?

Dex: Umm…..

Keefe: This is the part where someone takes the device and reads out loud that someone ships Denh!

Dex: How did you…

Keefe: Because this has taken a consistent pattern.

Linh: That's not terrible, actually.

Dex: Really?

Linh: Unless you think it's terrible.

Dex: I don't know, I just always liked Sophie better…

Sophie: THIS AGAIN? We read the books remember book six which documents the worst conversation ever?!

Dex: Okay okay! Well Biana was next…

Biana: Why am I always second choice?

Keefe: Because Foster's always first.

Dex: …and Linh was third.

Linh: Well, I was into Fitz.

Fitz: REALLY?

Sophie: Uh, Fitz…

Fitz: I don't meant that. I mean… WHY IS EVERY GIRL INTO ME?

Keefe: You never noticed?

Fitz: No.

Sophie: That explains why you were so afraid to admit your crush on me! You didn't know I liked you back! It should have been a given!

Biana: Honestly that's what I told him.

Linh: …aaaaaand ever since Sophie and Fitz have been dating –

Sophie and Fitz: Word choice!

Linh: -sorry. What do you want me to say?

Fitz: No clue. Just keep going!

Linh: Anyway I thought maybe since Sophie had rejected Dex maybe I could –

Dex: Okay. This ship thing is getting awkward.

Linh: Is it okay with you?

Dex: Well, yeah, I said I was into you!

Sophie: I bet people who ship it probably imagine your guys' conversations being about as awkward.

Dex and Linh: How do you know?

Sophie: Because I kind of agree with them.

Dex: Okay. Can we talk about something else?

Biana: How about Flashback? I just read Flashback and I am _dying_ after those adorable moments between Sophie and Fitz!

Sophie: Those are on paper?

Fitz: Uh – oh…

Keefe: I'M READING FLASHBACK!

Fitz and Sophie: WHAT NO-

Keefe: *is gone*

Biana: But the ending… *frowns* Sophie do you have something to tell Fitz?

Sophie: Yeah, uh… is it the matchmaking thing?

Biana: *nods*

Fitz: What are you not going to register?

Sophie: No, I did register.

Fitz: YES!

Biana: Hear her out.

Sophie: I _tried_ to register, at least. But without my real parents, it says I'm unmatchable.

Fitz: I just died inside.

Sophie: I figured.

Biana: Buuuuuuuuut when we get her real parents' names, it will all work out!

Fitz: Hopefully.

Dex: Awww, does this make you guys Hopefuls?

Sophie: Ugh I keep forgetting we're not alone!

Keefe: *snickers from another room*

Sophie: WHAT?

Keefe: CAN I READ THIS ALOUD?

Sophie: WHAT IS IT?

Keefe: Okay. So, here goes… "And his cheeks… they were flushed. And he'd said, he'd said… _I want it to be you_. It took her a second to realize he'd said it again."

Fitz: Oh no.

Sophie: Keefe stop…

~Later after we skip the most embarrassing moment of Sophie's and Fitz's lives~

Biana: Awwww my favorite!

Dex: What?

Sophie: Dex do you have something to say?

Dex: Besides the fact that I'm dying after all these books about your crushes being centered on Fitz? No.

Sophie: Dex…

Dex: Yeah, I know. We're "just friends".

Sophie: We _are_!

Dex: Shut up.

Fitz: I thought we'd settled this… wait. SOPHIE I JUST REAIZED.

Sophie: What?

Fitz: YOU'VE ALREADY HAD YOUR FIRST KISS.

Sophie: Oh.

Fitz: AND I HAVEN'T.

Sophie: I always imagined it would be with you but…

Keefe: What's a meatball?

Tam: Oh no. He found a recipe.

Sophie: You guys wouldn't eat it. It may or may not be made of stuff you guys are strongly against easting.

Fitz: Like, say, MEAT! It's called a MEATBALL KEEFE!

Keefe: Well I was just checking! What's a hamburger?

Sophie: Also meat.

Keefe: Chicken?

Sophie: What it sounds like.

Keefe: I had to check! Sloppy joes?

Sophie: Also meat.

Keefe: DO HUMANS EAT ANYTHING NON MEAT RELATED?

Sophie: Yeah. Like spaghetti and pizza-that-doesn't-have-pepperoni – wait area you guys just vegetarian or vegan?

Fitz: What's the difference?

Sophie: A vegetarian might eat cheese or honey…

Fitz: Yeah it's all good as long as nothing died.

Sophie: Right. The "timeline to extinction".

Keefe: Anyway what else?

Sophie: Salad is just a bunch of vegetables and we eat fruit and stuff. And our vegetables aren't slimy and gross. Gnomish produce tastes good, but… it looks disgusting.

Fitz: It's a culture thing Sophie. You grew up with Salami so…

Sophie: Salad, you mean. Salami is more meat.

Linh: Ugh.

~Aaaaand they kept doing that but the documented portion is over~


End file.
